I have now dipped my toes in the blogosphere.
This was not an easy decision. It took time and prayer. My concerns were many. While it may be too early to reflect on those concerns, I will stay true to my afflicted spirit. I will project, over-analyze, and judge.
The online community
I’ve been slow to warm up to social media—a real doubting Thomas. My concern was I couldn’t benefit from an electronic community like a could from my geographic community. So why try?
What I’ve found is a very supportive community: bloggers welcomed me, tweeters offered condolences the day I lost a friend. My geographical recovery community now seems so small in comparison to the global recovery community. That is a good thing—a reminder that I am nowhere never close to alone. A whole new network comes with me in my pocket. And thus surfaced another concern.
Would blogging and tweeting become more important than the grunt work of recovery that keeps me sober?
I pray it doesn’t. So far, it has reinvigorated my recovery. I’ve gone to more meetings, wanting to keep closer to the solution and stay honest. My appetite for the message has increased. But my appetite for anything is out of control, hence:
Would this blog become an obsession I can’t control?
It has. But, what else would you expect from an addict? I’m thinking about it constantly, wanting to jump on, check comments, improve layout, tweet thoughts. The real question is how can this behavior surprise me. It didn’t surprise my wife—”what did you expect?” She asked me yesterday.
Of my many obsessions, this seems to be a relatively healthy one. Instead of refreshing my bank account summary or trolling for inconsequential sports news, I am surfing sites I can relate to and thinking about my sober life. It’s like maintaining a caffeine craving in recovery: there are far greater vices.
How would this pursuit affect principled recovery?
This subject remains murky for me. I’ve done a lot of due diligence on the topic, and I’m doing the best I can with it.
I enjoy ‘outing’ myself to colleagues and neighbors. I find it a relief. But I don’t want people to discover I’m alcoholic on the internet; I want to be able to tell them in person. I’ve discovered early in the blogger’s journey, that normal people aren’t trolling the internet to find and expose me. That’s the selfishness of my disease. It’s akin to ordering a coke at a bar and worrying that everyone will demand to hear my life story.
In summary, after dipping my toes in the blogosphere, the blogosphere has replied, “Come on in, the water’s fine.”